I applied to vet school last fall, I was just giving it a shot. Everyone told me there was a slim chance I'd get in my first year applying, because it's so rare. I hadn't even decided what I truly wanted to do with my life. I've always been incredibly indecisive. I basically left my options open and continued on my path towards two separate careers at once. Either I was going to be a veterinarian (slim chance, but I thought I'd give it a go, so that I could say that I did) or a high school biology teacher. I was starting my first year of my masters degree, it made sense to stay in school since I just had my psychology degree and had not found anything in psychology that I would consider doing for the rest of my life. Plus Christian was still in school, and I could take prerequisites for vet school and also get my masters with teaching certificate. It seemed like a good plan. When the time came closer to submit the lengthy applications I became more reluctant. I could only apply to places far away since I was still finishing up prerequisites. The thought of leaving everything so far behind was daunting. Christian and I talked about it and he thought maybe he could transfer, and I thought I'd never get in anyway, and that it might just help my chances of getting in next year. Vet school admissions have a weird system of ranking applicants and if you've applied before, sometimes they give you more points on the scale. I guess they figure you're a more serious applicant. So, I applied to the only 4 schools in the U.S. that I had prereqs for. My friend Amanda was just starting at Western U and was always encouraging me and letting me know that it might help my chances the following year and that I might even have a shot at being accepted. I never let myself really believe that I did though.
The last year has been a great one, Christian and I became even closer living together at school. Then, after being put on one wait list and getting 2 rejections I was accepted to Western University of Health Sciences...in stinking California. Christian had realized it wasn't very plausible for him to transfer schools and of course it made sense to finish out his degree at Ship. I had been really excited for the interview, the thought of the dream career and the innovative program at Western was enough to get anyone excited at the thought of it. At the time of the interview, I just kept thinking I had another year, I wouldn't get in anyway. Well, somehow I did. Meant to be maybe? Eh, the saying meant to be is hard for me to grasp.
When I got the news you would think I would be excited, so many people that I know would kill to have the spot. So, I had this weird feeling of happiness at making it in, terror of moving across the country and leaving everyone, especially Christian, and guilt for getting in and not being happy enough about it. Plus there was the worry about finances and even deciding if this was the right career move for me. I was a wreck for a straight month, every time I thought I had my mind made up the next day I was back to being clueless. My family and friends couldn't have been more supportive with either decision, and my dad and grandparents made very generous offers to help with tuition. With finances pushed out of my mind a bit, I started to feel like I would seriously regret not going. Christian and I talked about it for hours, and gradually, I started to decide to go. I still think if it weren't for my fortune in the generosity of my family, I would not be going to vet school. It's just way too much of a burden and not enough of a salary. And don't try to tell me that the money doesn't matter, when you are looking at numbers with interest like I was, it does. Plus I still believe I would have been just as happy in a career teaching or doing something else with my masters degree. I guess we'll never know, because I'm going with the decision that will give me less regret, and more options for my future. I am finally starting to get excited. I'm going to learn so much, meet so many amazing people and colleagues, and have a career that never gets boring and that has endless possibilities. I just hope everyone continues to support me and that I have all of the relationships I started with when I am done with the next 4 years of intense studying. It's not going to be easy. Whoever says getting in to vet school is the hardest part, I'm pretty sure they are way off.
After I made my final decision some family members started truly telling me how they felt. They didn't want to influence my decision in the beginning, but after I made the decision that they were hoping I didn't make, things changed. That was even harder. I think I did such a good job of conveying my worries to them in the month or two that I was deciding that I actually convinced them I shouldn't go.Christian is finishing out his degree and when he graduates next year, I'd love for him to come out with me and for us to continue the adventure together, but we'll see what he decides. I'll leave it at that for now.
Today I just keep hearing that one line of Led Zeppelin over and over again "going to California with an aching in my heart".
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